My father was a famed sea captain.
My mother was any old sack of potatoes, the ones that don’t get washed or peeled but rather wait til they sprout and get thrown out with the rest of the ship’s table scraps and bottle caps.
She left me her name and her lumpy stomach.
There is very little recorded on the early years of my father’s naval career
but I have read all there is on his eternal retirement, docking in the
gentle waters off the island where he’d chase the boys
with his metal hand from their safe prams into his booby traps. But of all the flies, he foamed til his dying day for the one that he could never catch.
24 years old or so with a plump pair of jeans
boots and a hip flannel rolled to the elbows.
He curls his back over her small frame,
draped in soft white. He smiles during the cha
cha and reminds her to take small steps
but he stops every time he hits a snag so the song
restarts and restops and restarts and restops.
Recently I have had several breakthroughs. The life I was leading was so nonsensical! I can’t really explain to you how, or why it happened. Most stories I’ve read of people having similar breakthroughs are often noted as indescribably. It was essentially when I stopped doing what I was ‘supposed’ to do, and starting doing what I’ve always wanted. No longer did I wish, hope, pray, regret, lie, or make excuses. I woke up to what was happening, and to what life actually is.
As this happened I noticed reasons for my insecurities, constant unsatisfaction, and general unhappiness. I started to feel inspired, with more energy. Goals I’ve been trying to reach for years finally are coming to me. I believe feeling all emotions are healthy. I know its okay to have ups & downs. I realized I was emotional attached to unhealthy things. I no longer lived with expectations & conditions. By no means have I become completely enlightened, it’s a work in progress. Life is an experience. All parts of life, the good times AND the difficult times. That’s what makes life so beautiful. I’m going to share a quote that was shared with me, about a year ago. It deeply affected me, & helped me with my awareness.
“I’ll tell you a secret. Something they don’t teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier then you are now. We will never be here again.”
The birds here don’t smoke but they pick up the butts that fall from the butts that crawl from carl’s bad jr and back.